someone farting in bed
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Things You Should Never Do In The Morning

So you’ve met an amazing guy – you’re not yet sure if he’s the man of your dreams – but right now, he’s pretty damn close. You do not want to screw this up. So what are the things you should never do in the morning?

1.The Dreaded Bottom Burp

someone farting in bed
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Imagine you’ve both enjoyed an awesome night in his apartment, in fact, it’s approaching 10a.m, and you are both still cozied up in bed. Just as you are about to blissfully smile at this newfound happiness, your lower stomach warns you it is about to let you down. However, instead of heeding the warning and dashing to the loo, you move to the left, simultaneously clenching and praying that the imminent air release will be silent and odourless. Your body has other ideas, and lets rip, whilst your new guy looks at you in utter disbelief and disgust.

2.Check Your Emails

man checking phone in bed
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Unless your objective is to discourage your date, never check emails, and definitely do not answer them. However, if your date is a disaster, and you are both lying there in a fog of awkwardness, then calls, emails and texts may just be the answer to your prayers.

3.Order Him About- Sure, your fella might love a bit of dominatrix in the bedroom – but that’s not usually the case in the morning. Forget making demands for breakfast and coffee – if he likes you, there’ll be no need to make any requests. He will be falling over himself to make you happy.

4.Out-Stay Your Welcome- There’s nothing worse than waking up with a new partner who hasn’t left by 3pm. Even if he’s into you, sticking around all day long without firm invitation does not bode well. Your new fella will become suspicious that you are too clingy, and it will probably kill any possibility of future dates.